update &forewarning you--confessing my issues.

Holidays are coming, and it only gets busier and busier until after the 1st! Personally, I am frustrated at the lack of time I've been able to invest in my running, bottom line, use it or lose it! Those who aren't aware, it doesn't matter WHAT cardio you choose, if you don't keep up with THAT particular exercise (i.e. running), you can do all the spin you want, you will lose endurance in running! FRUSTRATING!

But, on the flip side, I can only hope that I am balancing it out with gaining the muscle strength from all the exercises I've endured for 3 solid weeks! I didn't miss a day guys! Thank GOD it's recovery week! Last Friday I did legs with a group and then had to come home and do kenpo...and Friday evening I was feeling it! And, not in a good way. Knee was pretty bad and then Saturday my shoulder to elbow was strained. Yesterday as I did yoga, the lunges were killing my right knee...so, I know I have to take it easy.

Was proud I lost the 3lbs, but like my other post, I mentioned I think I found it. :(

You guys haven't heard from me for a while, I was going through some pretty awful emotional stuff, and wanted to share that a) I didn't let it stop me from keeping up with my routine, but it was quite the struggle! My body was so zapped from emotions but I kept moving regardless.

My eating was a huge factor through this all. Pretty sad that I actually lost my appetite to eat at all, but knew I had to eat something to have energy to move, and yet because I was too upset to "cook" anything, it was pretty much carbs! Carbs and I do not like each other very much. :) So, it was bowls of cereal, and slices of toast---WITH butter! I just look at carbs and can gain weight! Usually, when I am feeling yucky in my stomach, I tend to eat dry bland items...like the breads and cereals. So, fearing the worst, I haven't stepped on the scale. It is very easy for me to spend lots of calories on something like carbs, so even though I wasn't eating much, it was pretty high calorie food. One slice of bread--100 cal, add butter, and you have 135. yikes when you do it more than a few times in a day!

I am definitely the emotional eater, which I hate, but AM working on it! Being aware that I do it has helped. Am practicing what I preach in other words. :)

I think one of the hardest things about it is you talk yourself into not taking care of yourself like you normally would. For me? An example, when I have had a really bad day, I think to myself about exercising, "who cares?" and when it comes to being mindful of what I eat, "who cares?" Well the truth is, when the storm has passed, I KNOW that I DO care---and that is what I have to hold onto during the trying times. I tell myself to continue doing what I know is right, what I want for me, and in the end, I'll be glad I kept up.

Guys, don't get me wrong. If there is a piece of cake, calling your name, and you are a good overall healthy eater, for pete's sake, ENJOY the cake!! But I say enjoy it for the right reason, because you actually want it. Don't eat it because you figure "who cares?" or "ohhh, I am sooo angry and THIS tastes good!!" or "THIS will make me feel better!" What a lie. In other words, don't be like me--the emotional eater! I don't want food to control how I feel, I want ME to control how I feel!

I wish I could say that after 3 weeks I can manage one solid pull up on my own, but can't. But, am proud of the progress I am making. I feel there are good changes in definition---heck I don't know about many of you, since not many are blogging, but yoga--although STILL tough, is also not as tiring as before--can feel better strength in those vinyasa moves!--haven't quite got to the push-up in between vinyasa's and downward dogs though, perhaps next phase, I'll kick up the notch. :)

I don't expect miracles to happen overnight, and will keep marching on---I really appreciated how Tony commented on one of the guys not being able to do certain moves first time, 2nd time, 5th time, but look at him now. So, keeping that in mind, I am doing what only STEPHANIE can do, and doing nothing but focusing on the prize! Regardless how long that takes me! We all have our strengths and weaknesses, we all started from where we were at, so we can't compare ourselves to anyone else but ourselves! When in class, do NOT look at your neighbor and say, "well, if THEY can do it, how come I can't?" You don't know their genetics, you don't know their background, and you don't know their daily regimen in life. So, do YOUR best, forget the rest--and focus on YOUR prize---regardless how long it takes!

Keep going all and God bless you!